I read about this epidemic before I moved here, but it did not dawn on me until recently how very much I would miss the sour yellow bundle of citrus joy we call a lemon.

When I say there are no lemons here, I am not being Leslie-dramatica, like I can tend to be about small silly things. I’m serious - there are no lemons here. I’ve looked… everywhere…. all types of markets. Little hidden markets up in the hills. Big huge wal-mart type markets I had no business shopping at in the first place. Medium sized markets. No lemons, no where. Not real lemons anyway.

So, ok… there are these yellow “things” that like to hang out by the limes in grocery stores and markets, but do not be fooled, Americans. THEY ARE NOT LEMONS. Oh sure, they sort of look like lemons, with their yellow color, nevertheless color is the last thing you should be looking for when treasure hunting for your lemon counterpart.

Let’s talk briefly about those yellow “things” first. They are freaks of nature. Appearance of our favorite sour delight, yet when opened, expose a not-so-lovely sweet, yet tangy center, almost like an orange, but not. Blech, I’m getting light headed just thinking about them. I’m not exaggerating when I say that the smell (or much worse, taste) of these vile fruits gives me insta-headache. They are food/meal ruiners! For God’s sake, keep them away from your children.

What to do if you are in Costa Rica and crave that lemon taste. Find a lime that is *shaped* like a lemon. You know the shape I’m talking about:

The round body with little nubs sticking out of the sides. Except, you will be looking for a green version:

No matter how tempting, how natural it feels to select the yellow version DON’T DO IT.

Trust me, the green versions with the lemon shape taste pretty much like a lemon. Then again, it’s been so long since I’ve had a proper lemon I may have forgotten what it tastes like.

I am unsure if this anti-real-lemon sentiment goes for all of Central America or just Costa Rica. I am going to Panama this weekend and as unusual as it may sound, one of my goals is to track down an actual lemon. Wish me luck!

Much love,
Leslie Lynn B.